The Christmas Store

It always seems when I get home there is something he has done unexpectantly. I loved coming home to him. Not just the things he did but just to be with him. Charles was a fantastic person to be with. He loved me and I loved him. And our life together was full of surprises and falls, lots of falls, and love. I came home one day after work, as usual he was there before me. I came in the house, it was warm I saw candles that were lit, I was scared. Did he burn something? What did he do this time? I always smiled thinking of his unfortunate events out of his kindness. It was two days before Christmas. So he had decorated the house with so much stuff our house resembled a Christmas shop. It was to the point of ridiculus. We use to put out Christmas lights but one year he was electrocuted, not badly but he did do a few sumersults when the sparks came out of the socket. The wall saved him from the bitter cold outside if he had penetrated the housing. Smoke came out of his mouth. This could be serious. "Are you  hurt?" I asked trying not to laugh. "This is your fault", he said accusingly. "I didn't think your body could twist such a way that was the most elegant move you've ever made." I said in awe.  I was relieved. "I could have fried." he was truly aggitated. All I could think about was that it was in slow motion, he looked like a swan, and it was beautiful. If only I could be so elegant. He recovered, but outside lights were out for the duration of our Christmas's together. Such a kind man could be so stubborn of a little incident, I always reminded him, as he would me of how close he came to being fried. But what stands out is the ornaments we swapped every year. Never opened. Saved until our fiftieth anniversary. Then the old went out and the new went on the tree. A hundred new ornaments to share on a live tree. I gave him postal ornaments he gave me character ornaments. Mostly Christmas wizards. Usually he would save all the presents until Christmas morning. He would wake up on Christmas eve when I was asleep and put out all the presents from Santa he would say. I would say the next morning Santa left his presents in the closet and if he wanted them badly enough he would have to help me get them out. Naturally he was the first to open the door. He was like a kid. The charm and carisma and stealth he always passed off to people went away on Christmas. Though today wasn't Christmas. But there was a beautiful wrapped gift on the coffeetable. I looked at him, he looked serious. He wasn't smiling. He was dressed really nice. Like always. The heat came on in the house, his hair moved like the wind was blowing slightly. Mine just lay flat. Why does he look good all the time? Why is he with me? What do I have to offer except a few tumbles and minor accidents? When we were dating he said he was falling for me, but I don't think he thought it was going to be physical at the time. Most of the time. "What is it?" I asked in excitement, "This is so beautifully wrapped, did you do this?" Of course he did. I didn't want to open it. It was so lovely just looking at it. It could have been a window display. "What scissors did you use?" I was joking. "Your good ones, only for the best." Uh Oh. " It looks so nice" I couldn't hide the smile. I sat on the floor in front of the present, he sat across from me on his sofa. The sofa is another story all by itself. His hands were folded like a priest, holding the pinky fingers. "I want you to open this now," he was really serious, "I want you to enjoy it every day." Now I was scared. Nothing came out from behind his back, nothing, not even a notecard. "Should I search the house?" I whispered. "Open your present early, later there will be more." "What about you, I don't have anything for you to open, it doesn't seem fair." I'm also thinking in my mind as to how I was going to top his wrapping. "Open it!" This was really serious. But before I opened it he gave me a fresh cappicino and some baklava. He had red wine. Well I opened it carefully doing my best not to tear the paper and bows and bells and ornaments and ribbons. I made a big production of this. He was impatient. Something was diffently wrong. Finally I saw a beautiful box decorated with the finest paintings of Christmas scenes. "Wow, how beautiful again. You put a lot into this, I don't know what to say, I'm speechless." Tears were pouring out of my eyes. I just wanted to sit with him, he insisted I keep going. There, in the box, was the DKNY dress I was looking at for a long time and the boots to go with them. He had gone to the mall an hour and a half away to get this for me. He did this after a hard day at work, when the weather was below 20 degrees and the snow had not yet melted. And he looked like he just stepped out of a limo. I cried. He pulled me up to him and whispered in my ear, "Wear this every day of your life you don't know what I had to go through to get this." Now I know why he was so serious. He had found the dress in the mall at my favorite store in the children's section. I'm small I wore a ten in children's clothing. So the sales people assumed he was shopping for his daughter. Not so. That was the first embarrassment. The second one came when he purchased the suede laced up boots that go to the knee with the four inch heels. The dress was a long grey thermal dress that was the length to my ankles. Charles was fabulous in dressing me in the current trends. I trusted his judgement and he was fabulous. Of course, he always was tailored. But never proud. He just liked to look nice. And I always loved to be with him with or with out his tailored clothing. His magic closet, I called it. I just loved him, and him alone. The third embarassment came when he walked out of the store onto the curb. He was wearing his long black duster with the pair of shoes I bought him last year for Christmas. These shoes were black and red and had metal hiker loops. Somehow when he stepped from the curb, the hooks seemingly became interlocked, he bcame airbound, did a full flip, legs in the air, down on the ground, the packages were scattered, he had stopped traffic, it was so serious people got out of there cars to see if he was ok. Strangers were collecting his belongings. Taking them to him by his side, one pedistrian was holding his hand, traffic had backed up in the mall parking lot. Security was called to the scene. Charles, as he recollected just laid there a few moments. The crowd was getting thick. Someone was holding hand and head now. "I'm ok." "I'm ok." Someone helped him up. He was shaken. People gave him his packages and glasses. Someone had the nerve to tell him to tie his shoes. He shook hands with everyone and security for there kindness and apologized for any inconvenience he may have caused. Then he walked away. He said he looked back gave a big smile and waved good-bye. "Why is it when I do some good for you, I get hurt in the process?" he accused me. I shrugged, feeling sorry for him in his unexpected event and laughing at the imagination of the sight. "I will never go to that store again." he was stern. "Are you serious., who is going to remember you this time of year?" I was laughing so hard. "I like my presents and I can't wait to go out dressed up, but I love you most." We kissed. And more. A year went by and I wanted to get something special for my sister. She is as small as I am. So I pleaded with Charles to go to the store where his catastrophe happened. He was reluctant. He thought someone would recognize him. I bargained that I would buy him more candles. Scented candles! And that I would take the responsiblity if the house burnt down. He agreed without hesitation. It was Christmas time again. He was dressed with a red button down shirt, green tie with snowman and black jacket and pants. Everything perfectly creased. And the duster. But this time he was wearing another new pair of shiney shoes. The tie was new now that I think of it. I was wearing my DKNY outfit from last year. We were in the store where he had purchased the outfit I was wearing. And as I was shuffling through the clothing someone came up to Charles and introduced himself and asked how he was doing. Charles held his hand firm and peirced his soul with his eyes and asked after seconds who he was. "I was the one standing outside the store last year when you went airborne and you stopped traffic halfway around the mall. I was taking a break at the time, I ran and gathered your stuff, and I handed them to you. Don't you remember? You are all right, right?" The guy was shaking. Charles seeing the young man, also Charles being embarrassed being recognized after a year, said to the young man, " I'm glad you were around at the time and I thank you for your help. There was a moment I didn't think I was going to make it." My name is Charles and this, over there, Maureen, is my wife, to whom I was shopping for at the time." So the guy said it was your wife's fault. Charles laughed. We all became friends. We met his wife and child. We had a few dinners and lunches together after the meeting. We are friends with this person and his family. Charles was that type. He could make what could stop a man in his tracks seem seemingless to what could be accomplished in a handshake. I still buy Charles ornaments even though he he not here physically. I miss him. I can't seem to put the dress and boots on even though I still have them. I will always wait to be with him. Now is not soon enough. How do people go from life to death to living again? I can't find the reason. I just want to be with Charles. I don't understand God leaving me here knowing how much I loved him.